| This blog has been a huge part of my life. I'm a new person now and although this blog holds precious memories,
I feel like change is what I need.
I will never use this blog again, so consider this
my farewell to all my friends who I've made here.
If you ever want to talk to me or anything like that,
send me a message. I'll check them frequently enough. This is a new chapter in my life.
Thank you for writing the past few pages.
Now it's my turn. Thank you all ♥
-Danielle |
| |
| Take it.
That piece is yours.
I won’t miss it I promise.
So many pieces are lost,
I couldn’t ever hope to put them back together.
After all, it’s merely a heart.
Stop looking at me with those brown eyes.
Please don’t let them smolder.
Just take it, it’s yours.
Take it. |
| |
| I wrote a suicide note yesterday.
So before you freak out, or jump for joy. Hear me out.
So I'm writing this new novel, my second (if you disclude the couple I've scrapped), and well I had to write a suicide note for one of the characters. So I took my iTunes and turned on some Evanescence, which I haven't turned on since god knows when. Probably since I was in therapy the summer of Junior year. Anyhow, I turned it on and started writing it.
And it completely screwed me up.
You don't understand how difficult it is until you have to put yourself right in that character's shoes.
Since I finished, I've been in such a funk I can hardly function. I told my dad a million times yesterday that I loved him. He probably thinks I'm crazy.
But hey, that's the life of a writer I suppose.
Here it is, if you're wondering:
Dear Mom and Dad,
If there were only something I could tell you that would make this any better. I wish I could hug you and tell you that I love you, and that this is just something I had to do. I know it seems like a drastic thing, but it's no different than going to college, moving out, except the fact that, well, I'll never do any of that.
Please don't think this is your fault. It's not, you've been nothing but loving parents. You always tried to life the weight of the world off my shoulders, but it's too heavy. Far too heavy for you to budge.
You just don't know what its like to walk through the hallways at school and have your words caught in your throat. People think you're retarded, people think you're this mentally challenged kid with the inability to form words. They don't understand that my words are more than just caught in my throat, they're pounding in my heart, in my wrists. I have to get them open, I have to let my words out.
I'm sorry.
When you find this, I'll already be gone. Please don't think any less of me, I just couldn't do it. When you look back at my life, don't think of the girl who came home sulking, locking herself in the bathroom for hours and crying herself to sleep. Think of the girl who used to run around the playground, constantly scrape her knees but still have that big happy smile on her face. Remember me like that, remember me for these words, because I've finally gotten them out. It took forever, but I did it.
Too bad it came with a price.
Tell Ethan I love him. Tell Auntie Lynne that I was the one who set her cat's tail on fire that Halloween. Find my English paper in the printer and hand it in to my teacher for me, she hates it when things are late. Oh, and tell Teagan that I love her, even though she'll never know me. Fill her head with good memories of me, and never taint it with the gruesome details.
Lay her picture at my grave, because I want to see her. I really, really do.
I love you both so much. Never ever forget that.
Love Faith. |
| |
| I've always been the supportive friend, always. So why can't people be happy for me? |
| |
| oh my oh my. these tears will surely stain my new shirt. |
| |
